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Humor

I don't always do the wrong thing, but when i do, it's the wrongiest of all the wrongs that ever wronged

I don’t always do the wrong thing, but when i do, it’s the wrongiest of all the wrongs that ever wronged

Humor

Humor

There's someone for everyone, and the person for me is a psychiatrist

There’s someone for everyone, and the person for me is a psychiatrist

Humor

Humor

Never in my whole life would i have imagined that one day my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth

Never in my whole life would i have imagined that one day my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth

Humor

Humor

When this is over, please invite me everywhere. I promise i'll go this time

When this is over, please invite me everywhere. I promise i’ll go this time

Humor

Humor

The longer i stay home, the more homeless i look

The longer i stay home, the more homeless i look

Humor

Humor

I don't care what people think about me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive

I don’t care what people think about me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive

Humor

Humor

Physically we are in August, emotionaly i'm still processing March

Physically we are in August, emotionaly i’m still processing March

Humor

Humor

I'm not adding this year 2020 to my age. I did not use it

I’m not adding this year 2020 to my age. I did not use it

Humor

Humor

Years from now we are gonna be like 2018, 2019, 2021, 2022... "Hey, you missed..." "NOPE! We don't talk about that one"

Years from now we are gonna be like 2018, 2019, 2021, 2022… “Hey, you missed…” “NOPE! We don’t talk about that one”

Humor

Humor

I miss telling my friends i'm on my way and still being home

I miss telling my friends i’m on my way and still being home

Humor

Humor

We all owe 2019 an apology for what we said about it

We all owe 2019 an apology for what we said about it

Humor

Humor

You thought dogs were hard to train? Look at all the humans who can't sit and stay

You thought dogs were hard to train? Look at all the humans who can’t sit and stay

Humor

Humor

Can we uninstall 2020 and install it again? This version has a virus

Can we uninstall 2020 and install it again? This version has a virus

Humor

Humor

My three-month trial of 2020 is almost over, and i would like to return it

My three-month trial of 2020 is almost over, and i would like to return it

Humor

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