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Humor

Unless you are a pregnancy test, take your negativity elsewhere

Unless you are a pregnancy test, take your negativity elsewhere

Humor

Humor

Sundays should come with a pause button

Sundays should come with a pause button

Humor

Humor

Things that tell the truth: Small children, drunk people, yoga pants

Things that tell the truth: Small children, drunk people, yoga pants

Humor

Humor

Give me coffee for the things i can change and tequila for those i can't

Give me coffee for the things i can change and tequila for those i can’t

Humor

Humor

Please note that i am self employed. So if you see me talking to myself, please do not disturb because i'm having a staff meeting

Please note that i am self employed. So if you see me talking to myself, please do not disturb because i’m having a staff meeting

Humor

Famous

"I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that's how I know I'm a woman!" - C. JoyBell C.

“I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman!” – C. JoyBell C.

@C. JoyBell C.

Famous

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." - Elbert Hubbard

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

@Elbert Hubbard

Humor

I don't think inside the box. I don't think outside the box either. I don't even know where the box is

I don’t think inside the box. I don’t think outside the box either. I don’t even know where the box is

Humor

Humor

My mind is like my internet browser: 19 tabs open 3 of them are frozen and i have no idea where the music is coming from

My mind is like my internet browser: 19 tabs open 3 of them are frozen and i have no idea where the music is coming from

Humor

Humor

Nutrition fact: If you drink a gallon of water per day, you won't have time for other people's drama because you'll be too busy peeing. Stay hydrated my friends

Nutrition fact: If you drink a gallon of water per day, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy peeing. Stay hydrated my friends

Humor

Famous

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

@Zsa Zsa Gabor

Famous

"You live but once. You might as well be amusing" - Coco Chanel

“You live but once. You might as well be amusing” – Coco Chanel

@Coco Chanel

Famous

"Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives." - Marilyn Monroe

“Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.” – Marilyn Monroe

@Marilyn Monroe

Famous

“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.” - Henny Youngman

“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.” – Henny Youngman

@Henny Youngman

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