Never in my whole life would i have imagined that one day my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth

Latest quotes in the category

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  The fact that “20 years ago” was in 2001 and not in the 80’s doesn’t sit well with me

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  Okay, i came up with a new dating app idea. You match with people who are on the same meds as you. We’ll call it “Relationscripts”

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  When i say i won’t tell anybody, my best friend doesn’t count

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  If you’re not happy single, try dating apps. You’ll still be single but you’ll appreciate it a lot more

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  Getting into a relationship may seem like a good idea but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there

• Getting into a relationship may seem like a good idea but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there